Kill Your Inner Sorkin

This evening I went through and unsubscribed, un-boomarked, or otherwise dropped out of a bunch of political fora, subs, newsletters, etc.

I felt the usual "good, college-educated liberal" twinge about doing it that I feel whenever I deliberately unplug from information sources. For years I thought I was someone who "was really into politics." I kept up on the polls, got excited about  primaries, watched every debate, watched convention coverage, etc. etc.

That was what was modeled to me as a kid. I remember being really sick during the 1980 Democratic convention and mom making a pallet on the living room floor so I could watch.

That was what mattered among all my college friends. I remember going to the communications building  for a debate-watch party with one of our professors. We all hooted and cheered when Bentsen shanked Quayle. 

I still feel the need to explain myself by saying that politics, broadly, still matter to me. Or rather, political outcomes and political choices still matter to me. But the idea that I'm "really into politics"—that I am someone who knows a lot about politics, follows politics, has strong opinions about political things (as opposed to the things affected by politics)—is a piece of my self-image I feel relieved to set aside.

Partly because participation in the media ecosystem that you have to engage with to indulge the hobby feels gross and exploitative.

Partly because there is an idea forming in my head that being "really into politics" is to experience at least a little delusion about the value of "being aware" of political developments.

Partly because, and I aim this at nobody who'd possibly be reading this, a lot of people who are "really into politics" are super unpleasant about it: Either supremely confident in their takes the way degenerate gamblers are supremely confident in that one last bet, or disturbingly Sorkin-brained about the whole thing in a way that makes the spectacle of politics even more stomach-churning, because it renders "what will happen to our society as a result of these mechanics" into a power fantasy telenovela, or an MCU for liberal arts  sociopaths. 

Curiously, because this is not the first time I've done an unplugging similar to this over the past couple of decades, this one feels the least like an act of self-care in the face of overwhelm. Rather, I just sorta think being "really into politics" has gotten too tedious, predictable, and banal to bother with, so I'm not going to.